“Welcome to my home on the internet!”
Adrift, swooping swallows our only shade
ends indolent inert day,
laying naked in sun warmed ‘muddle’
the gentle sway of bobbing boat
reveals this sleepy scene,
the postprandial glass in hand,
a passage, a chasm,
this hiatus, this pause in time,
adrift, at mercy of our circumstances.
“Up Where We Belong”
plays loudly in my mind as
swallows break this torpid air
serenading their mating call
and this evening song…
@copyright Susie Hemingway.
photo: courtesy of Anne Manning.
Swallows are able to produce many songs, which are used to express excitement, to communicate with others of the same species, during courtship. The songs of males are related to the body condition of the bird and are presumably used by females to judge the physical condition and suitability for mating of males. The typical song of swallows is a simple,sometimes musical twittering.
The sunlight crept over the wall slowly
pulling itself as if tugging a tank
the heavy night seemed distant
the dreams seemed real…
With heavy heart I looked at the sky
the soft blue of a summer’s day
was nearly upon me,
light puffy wisps of pearly white clouds
pushed into my vision,
as this voice inside vibrates,
a heart bleeds and dissolves.
This circle goes round forever
this wall withers my needs
as I look above…
Difficult heart cutting days.
The wall that holds me back.
The wall, tall, dark and brutally gloomy,
this barrier to a new life,
this wall so near my face,
this wall that snaps and breaks me
and withers my heart…
This wall so heavily built against me
this block of bricks
returns its view…
@ copyright Susie Hemingway.
A poem…begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness… It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.
ROBERT FROST, The letters of Robert Frost to Louis Untermeyer.
So slowly this morning the dawn greeted me with a suitably golden sunrise creeping up and across the pale green pastures of this early Easter. A natural perfect beauty of a new day. Walking to the village hall I thought that at last I detected the smell of Spring or perhaps as I approached it was the delicious smell of bacon cooking? It is tradition in this little village to serve a cooked breakfast to those who like to join in a companible social setting. The full works is served, cereal, fruit juices, white and brown toast, marmalades, various jams and of course a magnificently cooked breakfast of sausage, egg, bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes and beans. The tables are perfectly laid with chintzy red clothes, vases of daffodils and shining cutlery, even I may add little dishes of chocolate eggs.
This morning we served about forty-five people, they chatted happily with joyous greetings of “Happy Easter”. It is good to take stock every now and then and appreciate how very lucky we are in this pleasant rural life of ours, where friendships flourish and folk care about those who are becoming older. Gentleness is the source of all caring, a smile, a kind considered word or two, go a long way in making those who days are slower now and for those that could, if care was not taken, lead lonely lives.
I have lived here in this little Village nestling at the foot of the Lincolnshire Wolds since 2004. No it’s not the prettiest village but its beauty shines in its ability to retain this special character of friendliness and tranquility which elsewhere may be impossible to find. Many happy faces left the village hall this morning, long may it last. “Happy Easter” dear readers, may this Easter find you with peace and a joyous heart.
As tumbled snow does softly lay
where safe in warm this cosy realm
a tableau forms of quiet moments
this rhymester peers at hamlet small,
still, as the day does dawn this sonneteer
sees trees of silvery sparkles
light the view with crystal shards,
the easy set of spire shows
a clustered centre of gentle ‘bards’.
As scene unfolds another day
in pictured calmness.
The verse makes eyes
that steal the view…
Such a busy time since the completion of my lovely Garden Room. My youngest Son has married beautiful Julia in a most stunning setting and we had the most perfect day to remember. I shall write about that special day and my travels to Rome and then to Tuscany shortly..
Such a fun filled few weeks watching the Garden Room rise-up towards completion. Not the best of weather with quite a bit of overnight rain and it looks bleak everywhere but the good workers championed on to get the roof secure before the Christmas and New Year break. They all worked hard and with copious cups of strong tea and many plates of biscuits and Xmas Mince pies they succeeded. The garden is in aterrible mess now but when Spring approaches it will be great to think about the design for a small patio and a good general tidy-up. Still lots to complete before then with the stud-boarding and plastering to all walls and the knocking through to the kitchen, the tiles and lighting. With the plumber having done his bit, the pipes for the radiators have now been ‘picked-up’ and joined from the main system but the radiator has yet to be installed.
Christmas has been strange this year opting to stay put at home with not knowing at what stage the project would be at when arrangements were being talked about, although I was lucky with several invites I was worried to leave but as it turned out all was secure, still I had made up my mind to stay put and stay put I did. It was not so bad as anticipated with a nice walk down to the village pub on Christmas day andfestive chats there, kept me buoyant as did the couple of good brandies to ward off the very chilly weather. Boxing day I went to Lincoln and roamed the furniture shops looking primarily at sofas and dining tables and nice pieces to decorate my Orangery. I enjoyed my day and snuggled down comfortably in the evening content to watch some films and eat far too much chocolate! The first ever Christmas spent alone at home but I managed it well I feel, it was all rather peaceful and calm and I like that. I managed also to clean Hamada’s headstone in the churchyard after I had my delicious warming brandy of course – it does get cold up there with the wind cutting through the bare branches of the surrounding trees.. His headstone tends to get covered in a green verdigris type substance at this time of year. I had my usual little chat with him and felt comforted on my walk back. Life is after all what you make of it. I am rarely lonely, alone yes but feel very lucky that I am able to be content and peaceful when life does not always deal you the best hand. I miss my ‘best love’ more than words can say but as I have said before “Sorrow is better than fear, for fear is a journey a terrible journey but sorrow is at least arriving” Deep sorrow is something you CAN live with but the fear when someone is ill, the constant worry that you are doing all you can for them, even though deep down you know you are and the deep desire that when the time comes that all will be peaceful and right, is far far worse than the sorrow and loss I feel now. I have drifted off the subject somewhat but that’s what happens with writing sometimes.
As we approach 2015 I would like to wish those who read here a truly enlightening year with all good and delicious new things coming your way, peaceful pleasures that bring joy to your soul. Mostly I wish you good health to be able to go out and walk – if you can- in this lovely world of ours. If not to look at the magic wonders of our sky especially at night with the twinkling stars that fill this velvet void. Thank you for reading my simple words. ” Our joys as winged dreams do fly. Why then should sorrow last…” Stay strong all those that live alone and know that I am thinking of you and wishing you well. And so with these words I march onwards with this good life of mine. God Bless!
We learn wisdom from failure much more than success, or so I like to believe but starting a large project when living alone is mighty daunting never-the-less. For sure I have always been a brave woman if that’s really the right word, one can become complacent when getting older and for me approaching my seventies, I have recently thrown caution to the wind!
The past couple of months have been exciting for me in many ways, pulling and shaking me from my gentle quiet life here in the country. Not that I might add I am ever bored or feel there is not enough to do, often not having enough hours in the day for all the things I desire to achieve. I have a lunch date or two most weeks and often go out to dinner. I spend time writing of course, walk with the “Wold Walkers for Health” and join-in many social occasions in the Village. Having marvellous holidays too and I go visiting south, now and then and even manage the odd day in London, recently spending another day at “Westfield Shopping Mall” a great fun day out. I am content and happy with my so called ‘quiet life’, living alone has many compensations. Pleasing yourself with what you choose to do with your precious time is one of them and something I luxuriate in these days.
I have now been without my beloved for four years, adjusting well to this terrible loss or so I believe but now a time of reassessment has arrived. I live in a most modest bungalow quite perfect for retirement, the garden is probably a bit too big for me to cope with alone and that’s costly to keep under control but I would hate to part with it. I have just had all the trees pruned and some removed as the garden was becoming untidy and growing inwards, hopefully that will last for a good few years before needing attention again. I love so much the quietness and tranquillity of this village , we have fun here but its still perfect to retreat to your own little space and that’s something I love.
Still reassessment of one’s life is a good thing to do from time to time and at any age, bringing many different thoughts together and perhaps as folk might think, should I move to a smaller place? A flat/apartment perhaps because I am getting older? Should I return to the county I came from, nearer my sons and their familes? I of course love them muchly but do not wish to be the Mother that is just run the corner. As long as my independence lasts and I keep well and active then here I shall stay. I have been pondering for some time but have never wavered from my love of this quiet village of kind good people, a village with no lights, starlit skies, one pub and the little church of St Margaret’s and in the ten years I have lived here the many memories that have been made and of course in the churchyard lies a special spot near to the church door… Could I leave that? And rings the answer loud and clear – No!
I have learnt well that possessions do not last, it is remembered joys that make the heart strong and content. I am happy here although living alone, so feel I must make my home as comfortable as I can for me and for the guests that perhaps will brave the ‘A’ roads to visit me occasionally. And so to that end and because it is an exciting thing to do at any time of life and especially now in mine, I have decided to extended my home and make it the best I can for the years that remain. Since moving here over a decade ago, and downsizing greatly, I really missed not having a dining room, yes I could have taken one of the bedrooms but so often when family comes all the rooms are taken. I love to entertain and yes we have managed – when not many folk are here – we have eaten in the kitchen, quite big enough really, but when needing more room we have had to put a long table in the sitting room not a problem in the past but now I need to make things easier for me and a little less hard work.
So with that in mind I have decided to have a large Orangery built to the rear of the bungalow and as I sit here writing this, the garden and driveway to my home are covered in cement mixers, diggers and all manner of building equipment. How strange when the planning takes months and all of a sudden there you go, an invasion of the nicest kind. I am of course keeping a record of the build, always fun to look back on in years to come and I am glad to learn the manner and order of these types of modern day builds, not that I will ever attempt one I’m sure! But knowledge is knowledge and all is good to retain. I have longed to have a light airy room and to be able to glean as much of our English sunlight that I can. I have spent much time looking at designs, chatting to architects, walking showrooms with a dear friend, debating and discussing, mulling over the few complications of drains and interior heating cupboards, radiators and fires, light fittings etc etc. Doing things by yourself is more of a challenge of course. I have to keep within a budget and my always champagne taste with beer money comes sharply to mind. I have discussed things with a good friend who reminds me often that however my vision, it must be tailored to my own needs and taste and I should have just what I what, well thats ok to a degree but I must stay within my budget and could without doubt like all of us, get carried away! Still It’s fun and enjoyable searching out ideas for the interior, which I would like more modern than the rest of the house. Have manage to find a contemporary mounted wall fire that I like and that I hope will work well with the radiators, selected lights too, not wanting the normal ceiling fan which I dislike because of the whirring noise and have certainly overdone the budget on a huge ceiling and two wall lights, oh well, we all need a bit of glamour in our life. I shall update as things continue but they are racing away and progressing so quickly after only a week of work. Watch this space friends this will be fun and fingers crossed…
as if the heavens were angry
perhaps they are?
It brought the coloured leaves of autumn
blowing in a scurrying way,
like the small hands of lost waving children,
scudding like thousands of tiny moths,
ginger, red and gold’s mixed in the storm
sodden and sad… Are these the tears of heaven dismayed
at the recent atrocities of the ISIL Man? The leaden sky poured forth its sadness,
angry rain continued to lash the souls of those
whose evilness betrays the common man.
Black thunderclouds hung distraught and wailing overhead,
my heart felt heavy as far away barbaric wretched deeds
Are these the tears of Heaven… Tell me, are these the tears of Heaven?