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I’m watching clouds today.
You know, when the sky is the colour of cornflowers and the wind is high in a sky as large as an ocean,
these white fluffy cottonwool shapes scud past as
I lie on my soft snugly bed, the sky clear and lemony sunny,
I’m watching clouds today…
My balcony door is wide open, the breeze is sharp and Winter fresh, my nose is going pink
but under my warmest blanket with hot water bottle in place I am as warm as if being on a Caribbean beach.
I’m seeing the world today…
One soft white air-balloon sped by, I am sure people were waving,
followed by a perfect Isle of Wight
then came a magical galleon ship, well maybe not quite a galleon ship but huge sails full of powerful gusts puffed out in front, full I’m sure of gold and pearls.
Then a strangely big leg of Italy very close, kicking away from the rest of its land.
I’m watching clouds today…
An odd tree came next, most shapely I thought, blown sideways but I turned my head just in time… Then came a large alligator not of white clouds but formed from the gaps between but you never have cornflower blue alligators do you?
Imagination is a wonderful thing…
I’m watching clouds today…
Susie Hemingway ©️2021
I had forgotten how much I love these words.
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before, more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
—Charles Dickens, GREAT EXPECTATIONS
The world turned on its head today,
It collided, stumbled stuttered and fell.
the bustling regular ordinary days
the ones we love the best, changed,
slowly at first but then, with a great rush of fear.
The world turned on its axis, it shuddered,
And all at once fearful for the life of our world to come,
we halted and stalled.
Those approaching the Autumn of their days
must stay ‘contained’ the hardy stalwarts must
not ‘rock this boat’ or it might capsize, might go under…
The young executives our money makers,
our decision makers, now confined to home offices,
sitting in underpants,
as trains and city centres empty
draining like blood from worried faces…
The world turned on its axis today…
The call to prayer, voices thinned, as announcements
came of closures of Mosques,
the suspension of Mass starting to curb the spread of Covid-19.
The world turned on its axle today….
Theme parks stilled, theatres, cinemas, halted in prose,
visas suspended as the world turned on
It’s axis today…
Death is not the only common fear, science is the only common hope.
Humanity is our only common thread.
The world turned on its axis today…
Susie Hemingway ©️March 2020
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We don’t see the lines on faces and eyes
on hands that are swollen and veiny to die,
we don’t see the marks between bruising skin
we only see the heart that lies within…
We don’t see the faded eyes or the creases
round thinner lips all we see are those days,
the echos of past as we engage
in the memories words bring,
now all we see are the tales of fun
of faded impressions in photos when young…
When vibrant, eager and easy to know,
we were brilliant, dazzling,
scintillating, so ready to go
at just a moments notice,
wearing only our smiles
in shorts and flip-flops we
travelled the miles.
Now we only see those days we wish to recall,
of jaunty hearts, crystal minds
when we were young…
Inventive, creative, accomplished and yes phenomenal!
Our extraordinary minds propel us onwards,
our delicious memories sustain us…
So we don’t see the lines etched or the tired eyes,
on faces of friends and lovers who bide,
we see only the heart and the spirit inside
so deep is that joyful echo of life
of an echo…of this echo…
it’s all we see…
Susie Hemingway ©️2019
This magic Isle of new memories that nurtured
the souls of those that loved…
the hot golden days of our desert time,
where friends were made to last and stay
in OUR Oasis town of palms and sand.
For some, more than half a life ago
remember a different time, of roaming camels
soaring temperatures, dusty lives where
bonds were made to last and stay..
“See you again one day” we said.
So for us the stalwarts of this time,
staunch, committed, fun and steadfast
we meet again, still vigorous and redoubtable,
to reminisce of years gone by.
Unhesitatingly enjoying all of our memories…
We shared again on this lovely Island of Crete
We shared again…
Susie Hemingway Moursi – 4th Reunion Crete 2019.
As it’s national ovarian cancer day I thought I would write my little story, but not so little to me!
Back in October 2000 at the age of 52 I started to experience high pains around my waist towards the front, I remember thinking it was some form of indigestion or perhaps a muscle strain,not a normal place you would think for ovarian problems, it went on for a few months. When these annoying pains failed to go I visited my Doctor who immediately sent me for an ultra-scan. Whilst this was being done I turned my head and watched the screen which clearly showed a circle forming in the centre of the screen. Of course I’m no technician but it was not difficult to understand that something had been picked-up! I asked the clever lady what she had also seen and of course she said “ I’m not supposed to tell you, you must return to your Doctor for the report” I persisted, laughing that I would not mention anything spoken between us. She said that it looked like I had a rather large cyst attached to my right ovary. Blast I thought, OK…something to deal with.
After waiting a day or so for the report to be returned to my Doctors I made a surgery visit and first spoke to the receptionist who very happily retrieved my private file and after reading my notes and scan (!!!) informed me that all was fine and no need for any further investigation! I chose better to argue/or remonstrate in front of the other people sitting waiting in the surgery or to inform her of the terrible error she was making, so I requested a new appointment with my Doctor, which she made for a few days ahead.
On the morning of my appointment, my lovely Doctor at the time, called me in with the words and I quote “ Hi Susie, I have been waiting for you” then continued to tell me of the findings of the ultra scan. Before he could continue further I told him in full what his receptionist had told me “nothing at all wrong Mrs Moursi, no need for further appointments”
My Doctor looked at me with shock and horror in his eyes and said please take a seat and vanished through to reception. I could hear the dialogue through the half closed door as he berated his receptionist and dismissed her on the spot!
I didn’t feel sorry for her as she was a bossy over-bearing woman who scared everyone she came into contact with, the type ‘do it my way or the highway’ she was feared by most patients but I knew I had to report this, what if she continued to read the medical notes of others! Had I not been vigilant and aware, not seen my scan, accepted the receptionist remarks, I may never have enjoyed these past nineteen years!
I went on to have the C125 test which did not show cancer but had it been left untreated, what changes could those years have brought?
With good advice from a great consultant I subsequently went on to a full hysterectomy, having first class treatment and have lived further to look after my late husband with strength and vigour.
Remember ladies, take time for yourselves, for ultimately you are responsible for looking after your own health, having your regular smear tests, mammograms and if feeling necessary a C125 test and may I point out not listening to bossy Doctors receptionists!
Be well, be happy, be vigilant lovely ladies. 💞
Lowered eyes glanced through grimy windows
smeared rain spots across the filthy panes of Bus34.
Memories sneaked the corners of my mind and rolled hotly down my cheeks.
Casting eyes upwards to grey smudgy skies, head resting at a tired angle
I looked for you…
The dirty light of filthy day, no sunshine broke my blurring eyes
your dear dark velvet, heavily fringed eyes, slowing closing
flooded my mind and filled my vision.
Desperate days that still seemed like yesterday,
days that were long now, spoilt by loss.
Taking this evening route daily
life did not improve, my time to recall,
my time to remember…
Emotional on Bus 34.
Do You Think I had Forgotten You ?
The years and months pass quickly now from the delicate Springtime to the gloriously hot Summers the brilliant kaleidoscope of Autumn and on to the snow covered Winters,the days and months sneakily roll into one patch of time.I look from my windows at the changing seasons but only see you, do you think I had forgotten? I cover my days well, I smile a lot, it’s good to smile… But forget no! There will be no forgetting.
Loss is made endurable by love and it is love that will echo through eternity…
When I don’t mention your name
it wishes to slip through my lips
it rolls around in my mouth
it hinders my speech
you are not a memory lost
you are with me always
yearning to escape,
please can I mention your name?
A new guest for tea
like old school friends relaying
the years past, the joy of connection
laughter and life,
she asks your name
it flows like a coursing stream
channels down on fresh white linen it falls,
it ripples, slides and spills…
Oh the joy of saying your name
oh the passage of cherished time
fills my heart making my ears happy,
your name tastes of sweet soft
honey on my tongue,
it tastes of Caspian beluga caviar
on thin warm blinis,
it makes my eyes open wide with joy,
it is my heaven it is my desire…
Can I mention your name…
As the closing of 2017 is upon us I look back over this very exciting and special year. The year when I reach the fabulous age of seventy, I can hardly believe that I have made it to this senior age!
When I was young seventy was considered really old and I look back on my Aunts and Uncles at this age as rather old and creaky and most of them suffering with some sort of aches and pains. I am delighted to report I don’t feel this way at all. I am so lucky not to have joints that creak and yes I know there are tons more laughter lines on my face but each one tells a marvellous story and so I am proud to wear them as the older lady I have become. Lucky also, to have found a sort of magical contentment, no worries and a newer found patience which I am truly enjoying. It seems that nothing except losing a loved one, could faze me ever again. Nothing is so final as losing those you love, nothing else comes close or really matters and everything else can be put right. So as I approach 2018 I am truly content and my heart tranquil.
2017 has been so memorable for many reasons, starting with major excitement for me in April, with a trip back to the UAE Oasis City of Al Ain, for a desert reunion and to catch-up with so many friends made during my time there in the eighties and early nineties. I travelled with my youngest son Jo who was also making the trip, he wanted to recall the years he spent growing up in this beautiful place, to remember again where his papa worked. Although now a sprawling City it is still full of that old magical charm we embraced and loved.
The reunion so very well planned, including something special every night, different venues at selected Hotels, some new hotels but many old favourites but the most magical night for me and the most memorable was atop the “Jebel Hafeet” dining under the stars after watching the most magnificent sunset over-looking the now sprawling city and it’s thousands of twinkling lights 4,098 ft below. An evening after the hot day, when the welcome ‘Kamseen’ made its perfect attendance on our faces and through our hair. We chatted onwards into the night, there were many of us and lots to catch-up on. I read a poem in the lowering dusk, one written a time ago about this beautiful mountain range, nothing much had change except there was now a luxury hotel built on top of the mountain, it was delightful as the sky filled with millions of stars and we recalled those oh so special halcyon days of the eighties…A lovely memorable evening in the desert we love so much. And so on to June…
Then I was so lucky to enjoy in June a most perfect and entirely enchanting holiday in Crete with my dearest friend. Pure luxury in an idyllic beautifully designed modern hotel set in a perfect bay in Chania. We swam everyday, walked the old harbour and surrounds and ate some delicious meals often under the stars. We were able to visit old friends too in their villa up in the mountains. The weather was idyllic, beautifully hot but not the heat of the desert just entirely fabulous. Memories of perfumed jacuzzis and time under the stars. What lovely joyous memories I have of this perfect time!
In the middle of 2017 I did a lot of work on the garden and also mid-year I had the old decking removed and a gravel area laid, it’s tidied up this part of the garden well and I am pleased with the neatness of this new terrace area. More changes are planned for 2018…watch this space…
Then coming forward to November and my VERY fabulous weekend celebrations for my grand 70th Birthday . We ‘took over’ the very enchanting “Woodhall Spa Manor Hotel” for the weekend. Some of us stayed there and some in hotels and guest houses locally to Woodhall Spa. We were lucky with the weather, bright and a late autumnal feel but we still had the roaring log fire in the grand hall and admired the yellows and golds of the magnificent trees which looked their best when sunlit.
On the Friday night we had a formal dinner for twenty two, cooked so beautifully by the two chefs from London, engaged by Son Jo who so cleverly and amazingly arranged the whole magnificent wonder filled weekend. The meal was totally delicious, the wine absolutely perfect Mouton Cadet – Rothschild, which is now my all time favourite, we drank nine bottles! The ambience of the pretty long stemmed pink and cream rose-strewed table, every one looking glamorous, everything perfect…A wonderful evening…
We retired after the delicious meal to the lounge bar where more guests arrived for evening drinks. An evening spent catching up, lots of fizz, lots of chat, lots of love…I could have sat there all night…
On the Saturday we enjoyed a superb breakfast cooked by our lovely chefs then went for a group walk in the sunshine to “The Broadway” on return we stopped for hot chocolate and coffees at “The Tea House in the Woods” we wanted to show this old early 1900’s Tea house to our dear friends who had come all the way for this super birthday celebration from Kentucky USA. They loved it all and we loved it that they had come all that way to join us for this very special occasion.❤️
Later our marvellous Chefs served a most delicious Afternoon Tea for us in the Golfers Bar, all manner of dainty sandwiches, quail eggs, with truffle, chocolate and orange cake, fruit loaf and scones with raspberry conserve and clotted cream. Completely yummy!
We all took a rest and prepared ourselves for the huge, fifty+ evening disco party where many more friends joined us for dancing, canapés and an abundance of champagne and fizz amongst other favourite drinks. It was a superb, magnificent celebration of my seventy years in this beautiful world. I am so humbled and grateful for all the love shown over this weekend, so many treats, even a most spectacular birthday cake…how very lucky i am!
Looking back now as this year of 2017 ends, I feel so very fortunate to have such lovely friends and a great family, to be able to enjoy good health, of not feeling anything like seventy whatever that is supposed to feel like! I am privileged to have good friends who have helped me overcome great sadness in the past and entirely grateful to have found much joy again. ❤️
May 2018 bring to you all, everything your heart truly desires. Try to listen carefully to other people in your life, for along the way you may miss important needs of those close to you. Take time to spend looking ‘outward’ and not with your head always buried in laptops, phones or iPads ( a big sin for me sometimes) Still what a joy they are for keeping up with old friends when you cannot see them as much as you would wish, for seeing friends who live far away, so great too for those that live alone, saves keep talking to the wall!
I suppose as a senior lady I am allowed to air my thoughts a bit on looking forward in life and may I recommend to be kind and gentle always, even If at times your kindness seems misconstrued by others. Stick with it and keep smiling. Find your courage too, to be able to stand-up when you believe something is wrong or not understood, say what needs to be said, do not accept anything less than the best for yourself, never allow yourself to be disrespected especially when you do not or have never show disrespect to anyone. Tell those that hurt you they have done so, if they are of any importance to your heart! Try never to malign or criticise other, how do you know how life is treating them or how hard it may be to ‘walk in their shoes’. Value yourself at every age. ❤️ Look after yourself but give time to those you love, don’t always appear too busy for their needs, for those that don’t, will find themselves alone one day and will wonder why.❤️
Read a book, any book but try to find one that absorbs you totally, one you can’t wait to read the next chapter and listen to more music, the kind that stirs your heart, no matter what that is. Dance and love… love and dance and love some more…Always my favourite pastimes…
A Happy Joyous Peaceful and Kind 2018 is wished for you all.❤️