AS the snow lay heavily across this perfect land. Temperatures plummeted to an all time low. Lanes were covered thickly with snow and packed ice. Branches weighed heavily with icicles as though they wept their perfect tears along with our sorrow. Important paths were cleared by a team of willing men as brilliant sunshine played and danced on crystal ‘water-diamonds’ studded on pasture lands.
We stood on that first day to receive this special man. Tightly together, our breath pluming feather like, into the crisp harsh air. All his dear ones so close, each with their own special memories of this much loved, dignified and courageous man.
The first evening brought many to pay respects, travelling the length of the UK to this beautiful little place on Gods earth. Staying in guests cottages on farms and in nearby bed and breakfasts houses. Filling with love as they arrived, the empty space in my heart. Each bringing their quiet thoughts and memories along to ‘celebrate’ this good mans life. We chatted and yes, we laughed into the evening , talking of fun times together just as if this beloved man was still sitting with us. We spoke of special dates, birthday, holidays, fun times at the beach, love filled that evening reception. The cosy warm rooms with food aplenty also warmed our hearts .
The day arrived for our final goodbyes. Limousines were prepared, large shiny ‘ rooks of travel’ deliciously comfortable, mine with a thoughtful small crystal glass of brandy resting in holder to ward off the bitter cold. Nothing had been missed… nothing left to chance…
My mind seemed detached and yet clear ‘picture memories’ that will remain forever with me began to etched on my mind. My dearest daughter-in law thoughtfully bringing to my bedroom a soft linen handkerchief, the hugs of my two stalwart sons who seemed to be taking care of everything. I remember clearly a vision of my youngest son Jo bending to adjust tenderly the tie of my Grandson Manu, resplendent in perfect little black suit, his sad dear face and the hugs he gave me so often during the day, will never leave my heart. The Bells tolled across the village, calling all to this resting place.
The oh! so slow drive, carefully negotiated on ice covered lanes, the congregation filling the church, the prayers, the many readings, the just beautiful strains of chosen music and hymns. The overwhelming smell of lilies and eucalyptus covering the casket, brought tears to my eyes.
The guidance of our dear Reverend Avril, her clear voice fully in charge of proceedings but tear- filled eyes gave away this confident stance. The Stunning photo of Hamada, that our dear niece Ellie had skilfully had enlarged and had propped against a tall glass vase of more triumphant white lilies for all to be able to see,our handsome man.
The splashes of mauve coloured scarves and beautiful arrangements of flowers lovingly prepared with special care caught my eye. The pink cheeks of my sisters who’s eyes showed such deep sorrow. Their dear husbands grieving for the loss of their much loved brother.
My body shook with grief as I heard the first rendering, the beautiful Hymn “Abide With Me†the clear delightful voice of Katherine Jenkins filling the air.Two strong hands from either side covered mine, it was enough.
Tears fell to the strains of “Ai giocco addio†from Romeo and Juliet the powerful voice of Luciano Pavorotti echoing against the strong stone walls of this tiny ancient place, such a favourite of ours and played so often in our home.
The pride I felt at the words of the five tributes, each perfectly clear and delivered with such compassion, each telling their own poignant story.
The words of the Eulogy read in perfect tones by my eldest Son Matt, containing only words that God could have guided his hand to write. Telling the most perfectly unique and complete story of our beloved Hamada. “ The days run away like wild horses over the hillsâ€Â  continued to tell so much of this dear mans life and then to finish his reading with Khalil Gibran “The Springtime Of Loveâ€Â a poem found marked in one of Hamada’s books. I shall keep Matt’s wonderful words safely by me for the rest of my days, they were so beautiful.
The village elder speaking in reply, with such love, support and total tenderness taking our breath away with his sincerity, and perfectly clear and powerful words of kindness his skilful reading of the ancient Psalm 23 .
The tears from everyone, as we gathered closely together and all sang along with Elton John “ Can You Feel The Love Tonightâ€
Some so moved that the words could not come, as the love surrounded and filled this tiny place. My dear girl friend’s face so wet, with such huge tears of sadness.
We sat in silence as Ray Lamontagne’s beautiful guitar rift “ Truly, Madly, Deeply†gently filled our hearts.
The final: Ray Lamontagne’s“ All The Wild Horses†completed this long farewell as everyone stood in honour.
SO many things I will remember from that God given day that allowed us to say our goodbyes, to a perfect and much love gentleman. Youngest son Jo reciting a “Surah†in Arabic, his strong deep voice so much like his Father’s, clear in the bitter sun-filled air.
The family standing in resplendent smartness on crisp white snow as they threw their white roses of peace the long way down, then the men – including our beloved Grandson – with hands full of dust “dust to dust, ashes to ashes†never have I felt such love, love that surrounded these two days. Days that will never ever fade from my memory.
“May God bless you my Habibi and grant unto you eternal peace forever Amenâ€.
Photo of Lilies,cream roses,eucalyptus and banana leaves taken by Janey Johnson with thanks.
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Your beautiful words take me to lovely Hemingby where I stand with you and your loved ones. Your dear Hamada and my sweet Vern are now waiting together for us to join them one day. God bless you, Susie, as you begin the next part of your journey ♥
Thank you so much Susie for making me feel as though I was there. My heart is full, my eyes are wet, and I wish that I could personally be one of the many to wrap my arms firmly around you.
Beautifully written as always xxx
Hundreds of bagpipers, honor guards from dozens of departments,caskets on firetrucks, the final bell. Dignitaries, thousands of firefighters, a solemn march through city streets; I’ve done it dozens of times, and each time I’ve left knowing… that if I made the ultimate sacrifice, I would be well remembered.
To be put to rest as you describe is equally befitting a man of great dignity, perhaps even more so
Such a beautiful description, brought tears to my eyes.
Susie,
it sounds a truly wonderful and fitting way to celebrate Hamada’s life, and to say “farewell”.
So much thought, love and care had obviously gone into the planning and preparation; Hamada will have been watching you with such love and pride.
Sending hugs from us here in frosty Wales..
Ditto as Lori and Teresa…
Hugs from Florence…
Life is so fragile…and wonderful. Looking around at the beauties of nature and even though we are in the midst of winter right now, I know spring will come again. The Ressurrection is real. Because of Jesus Chirst we will all live again. I know that even though Hamada has left for now, he is yet alive in another place where we can not go . . . just yet. May you be blessed and comforted until that time comes.
Thank you for sharing this difficult time, Love Kristine
I made the journey in spirit to stand in a small church and walk through the snow on Monday, but it wasn’t until I read this vivid description that the tears began to fall, that I said my goodbye as well to a man I knew only through your eyes and words, Susie. To say “Thank you” seems miniscule in light of the largeness of the event you shared with all who came to find out how you are faring… but I am so appreciative of your magnificent effort and to be given a chance to let you know I am thinking of you these cold winter days and nights; my tears glisten on cold cheeks with the thoughts of the new star that has been pulled up into space.
I’m crying reading this, Susie. So beautiful and sad. All I can hope is that I can experience such love at my time.
Love to you and your wonderful family.
Jewel Forga
California
As I read this reflection, I thought of a young man who when I was much younger was my best friend. He was killed in the line of duty while we were both serving in the Marine Corps nearly 30 years ago, and I escorted his body home. He and Hamada, while very different people, were remembered in much the same way by those who loved them.
It was also an honor – and a privilege – to be able to witness in a small way this incredible journey you and Hamada were on together. As was said in another comment here, the words “Thank You” seem way too small compared to the size of the effort of your sharing this with all of us. But they will have to do – at least for now.
I found you because of this cancer, I stayed because of the wonderful words and support. Because of the loss of your dear husband you stopped the other blog, so it it is OK with you I would like to continue reading this blog. My thought and prayers go out to you and your family.
Thank you so much lovely people for your kind comments on this very special weekend in December 2010. Although profoundly sad for us all, this weekend also brought much joy and peace to me. The Knowledge that this very special Man was so loved came as no surprise but receiving all the hundreds of cards and letters from all round the world as given us all such an insight into how far ‘our story’ had travelled and just how many people had been offering prayers ‘along the way’ for Hamada or had us in their thoughts with their best wishes and support while we made this difficult journey. I am entirely content that everything possible had been sought for Hamada’s comfort and that his final hours were safely and lovingly with me, peacefully in our home “Hemingway” just as Hamada had wished.
@ Steve I would love that you continue reading this blog here and I hope others do also. I will not be entering any more on Blogspot.com – the story there is completed now.
Dear Susie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been following you blog for almost one year now, following your inspirational story and reading your beautiful poems. Your story has truly touched me. It is rare when you find love, the type of love that you and Hamada shared. I felt it ocean apart and it warmed my heart.
I am so sorry. I am thinking about you!
With love,
Lina
And today, after reading your words, I shared in your tears…
Thanks Jinksy x Stay well and safe in this awful weather, hear on the news that you have much snow also.
Beautifully written as always xxx
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!